January 1, 2009

New Years Predictions

Edit: Novah did one too.

Time for some new year's predictions :D

January
Obama will be sworn in. By the end of the month Republicans will already be blaming the country's problems on him.

February
Springlike weather will arrive early this year.

March
School shooting results in a federal ban on ammunition.

April
Steve Jobs will finally admit that he has declining health and may not live much longer.

May
Religious extremists bomb abortion clinics.

June
Scientists warn of drought and the hottest summer in recorded history.
Summer starts off with a "bang".

July
The LHC will be delayed due to another malfunction.
Some countries withdraw their support.

August
Severe drought will cause food and water shortages around the world.
Many die.

September
More threats of terrorism coming from some surprising sources.

October
A kid is killed in Alaska for dressing as a polar bear for Halloween.

November
Christmas decorations are put up near the beginning of the month instead of waiting until after Thanksgiving.
Even more "Black-Friday" violence that no one seems to react to.

December
Smaller holiday season this year with the economy still tanking downward.
No New Year's glasses are sold because no one can figure out where the eyes will go.

8 comments:

Rev. Donald Spitz said...

You seem to imply there is something wrong if a babykilling abortion mill is burned or bomb. Which do you prefer, a pile of bricks or a pile of dead babies? Innocent unborn babies deserve to be protected just as born children deserve to be protected. You would have no problem protecting born children if they were about to be murdered.
SAY THIS PRAYER: Dear Jesus, I am a sinner and am headed to eternal hell because of my sins. I believe you died on the cross to take away my sins and to take me to heaven. Jesus, I ask you now to come into my heart and take away my sins and give me eternal life. http://www.armyofgod.com

Heidi Richter said...

^^^

Hahaha, holy shit. How come I don't get these comments? I'm jealous, Harrison!

GuildMaster Grand Poobah Shogun Comrade Divine Saint Overlord Tomala said...

Abortion Clinics are horrible, I say we burn them down WITH the people AND fetuses inside!!!!

As a god fearing Christian that has no problem having men do all the thinking for her, I say we give birth to the babies and hope at some point they go off to war and die in the name of our savior. Then it would just be a late abortion.

delphi_ote said...

What "Reverend" Spitz doesn't realize is that his annoying attitude is the loudest advertisement for abortion a person could make.

Heidi Richter said...

Well it seems you're on a roll. This makes me afraid for March. o.o

Heidi said...

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/01/us/01tiller.html?ref=global-home -- on the last day of May.

I suppose the good Rev. Donald Spitz is celebrating today.

Harrison said...

So far:

January: Give-in

February: It was in some places

March: Winnenden School shooting, no federal ban

April: Steve Jobs underwent a liver transplant.

May: Abortion doctor was shot and killed.

June: Scientists say the UK will face a very warm summer.
North Korea tested a nuke late may.

Harrison said...

update:

June: Record ocean temperatures.

July: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/lhc-atom-smasher-restart-delayed-yet-again-1765473.html
LHC is delayed due to malfunctions yet again.

Britain and Australia pull out of Iraq
http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/iraq/2009-08-01-iraq-coalition_N.htm


I'm scaring myself. I'm going to stock on on water bottles for August :<